; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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