a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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