Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
