he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
