you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
