Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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