She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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