The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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