You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
