the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
