ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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