Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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