First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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