I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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