so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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