the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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