So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
