the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
