she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
