can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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