While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
