My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
