I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
