Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
