I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
