i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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