the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sober January is a disaster.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
