the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
