i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
