Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
