Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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