I think my vagina is haunted
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
