Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
