She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
