your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
