what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize