nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
