i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
