I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
