Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
