I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
