he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just want to make out with him forever
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
