so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
