He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize