i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
