I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
