Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
