Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
