As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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