She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
