why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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