Don't make out with my wife yet
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need a beard to bite.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
