just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
