I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
