Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
