I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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