found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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