He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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