Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
