id be glad to
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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