but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
